I'm writing again.

The most vital piece of my connection with God was missing this year.  Lack of energy, lack of time, and lack of creative juices caused the longest writer's block I've ever experienced.

This year entailed a lot of transition, a lot of growing pains, a lot of being exposed to old wounds that I never let heal.  I did a lot of snapping at people that I love dearly and a lot of praying through frustrations that I have with myself.  And with this season, my soul felt dry a lot of the time.  I knew that I was growing, I saw the new-ness every time I looked into the mirror or chatted with a friend.  But I didn't know how to express it, to friends or to Jesus, and so I felt like I was the only one seeing growth.  I felt like friends were unable to see through my soul's dryness and pain, and I wasn't sure they believed me when I tried to explain that I was indeed being made new.

But I'm writing again.

And not just posting blogs.  About a week ago I started writing a book again, my favorite release since I was a little girl and my favorite way of connecting with the King.

Usually fresh notebooks would cause excitement and anticipation to rush through my veins, but this year, blank journal pages and word documents haunted my every moment.  They made me nervous and aggravated and worried about why I felt like I had nothing to say.  I forced blogs once a month and generally gave up on journaling in my own privacy.  I had nothing to write (or perhaps, too much to write to know where to begin).  Too many times I sat with a blank blog post open, hands poised on the home keys, begging God for something, anything, to say.

Nothing.

But now, my fingers can't fly over the keys fast enough for my thoughts and every day this week I've come up with multiple illustrations for this new book project that the Lord has laid on my heart.

I'm writing again.

These blogs and this new book are my prayers, my way of processing and praising the way Jesus is moving in me, my way of connecting with Him.

The words that have danced across my computer for this book over the past week have caused so much healing and redemption to already take place.  It's like there is a connection between my soul and my written words, a direct pathway that if broken, processing ceases to happen and my mind spirals into weeks of confusion and arguments with loved ones and strange, misplaced tears.

But by His grace, He's released me from this writer's block.  By His grace, I'm invited into closeness with Him via metaphors and word documents.  By His grace, I'm writing again.

So here's to renewed intimacy with God.  Here's to creating art.  Here's to the process.

Here's to writing again.