senioritis

I get all cozy and ready to study.  Computer open on my bed with the neuro lab documents up.  Sheep brain dissection book open next to me.  A pile of note cards and my favorite pen just waiting for use.  And a cup of steaming hot coffee (or tea, depending on the time of day we're talking about) sitting on my desk.  I'm all ready to study.

my set up for the past few days

But then I log onto facebook.  Repeatedly.  Make phone calls.  Open up my Bible.  Open up the "for fun" book I'm reading.  Open up this blog...

I've just hit that senioritis point.  Now don't get me wrong.  I am lovin' my 491 Research Team.  If I sit down to do work for that project then I do it and I put my effort 100% into it.  That's where my interest lies.  That's also the only 3 credits I actually need to graduate (someone tell me why did I take a FULL hard load of classes, namely neurobiology, when I only need this 491 Team to graduate?!).  That's also the class where I feel most like an adult because my professor treats it much like grad school work.

I am so close to the real world that I can taste it.  All I want to do is prep my mind and body and soul for next year's ministry internship.  All I want to do is put my time into this research team because it feels like real world work.  All I want to do is make plans for graduation weekend and look at apartments and apply for jobs...

Yet for some reason I chose to "finish college strong" and take 10 extra credits that I don't need of killer hard courses.  College senioritis looks a lot different from high school senioritis, but it definitely still exists.

My mind has moved on from here.  I have loved the past four years.  I love life now!  I mean, I enjoy my classes and living in Fredericksburg (I really, really love this town) and being walking distance from so many wonderful friends.  I will miss college like you wouldn't believe.  But for the first time this weekend, I felt old.  I looked around at all the students at the multicultural fair and I realized for the first time that somehow over four years I had grown up.  Somehow college flew by and I'm not this care-free college student anymore (well... in three weeks at least).  Everyone looked so young.  And I realized how my conversations have drastically changed, as well.  My motives and priorities... they've all made this shift without me really being aware.

When did we all grow up?

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
   both now and forevermore.
(Psalm 121:8)

He brought me to Fredericksburg for a season.  Now the time to part from this campus is creeping up.  But I'm so excited for the plans He has for me!  Though I don't want to wish away these last few weeks of living with friends and being a resident of Virginia, I find myself daydreaming about this summer and next year (and no more tests/labs!!!!) far too often.  I have loved being a college student, but I've outgrown it as well.  Two months ago moving on from here was freaking me out and giving me anxiety.  But now I can say with confidence that I'm ready for that scary step of entering the world as an adult.  Transitions are made easier when I know that Jesus has my coming and going under control.

Now to only somehow make myself focus on my classes for three more weeks...

andddddd back to studying for neuro.
(maybe.)
;b