Spring break is over; I'm back in my apartment in Fredericksburg. Classes don't start until tomorrow and I'm already itching for this semester to end.
I went home for break and I had such an amazing time. I stayed at school for fall break, only went home for half of Thanksgiving break, and was only home for two weeks of winter break (both of which my time was spent at an internship). This was really my first break home this year--I avoided it like the plague due to a pretty awful summer. I was avoiding conflict with my dad, avoiding being reminded of my past, avoiding temptation. I could feel sinful thoughts and actions slowly beginning to creep back into my life this summer and so I ran from it. ALL. YEAR.
Going home for spring break wasn't in my original plan. I was really only going home to finally put a close to the stolen wallet situation. I needed my dad to sign a few papers and I needed to go to the New Jersey DMV to get a new license. But I ended up having a great time with family and a fantastic time with friends. It was the first time since my mom died that I really felt like home was home again. Perhaps that is why my wallet was stolen. God knew I needed to be forced to go home to remember that I do love the people there. There is a place in my heart for each person there that cannot be filled by anyone else. They're the people I grew up with. They're the people that went through the hardest times of my life with me (i.e. when my mom died). They're the people that will always be in my life, regardless of the distance between us and the time we've spent apart.
My friends from home came and stayed at Jessie's house in Fredericksburg this weekend, so I also moved in two days ago. I spent the weekend goofing off with them and was sad to see them go this morning. I missed driving around blasting music with them, laughing so hard that breathing isn't an option, and allowing them to torture me because I'm the youngin' of the group. They truly are like siblings to me and I pushed them away for the past year or so due to the ridiculous fear of my sin.
This semester academically just sucks right now. There are so many things going on that's making me way too excited for future events. Filling out my IV leadership application for next year is making me overly excited for senior year and the planning that goes on at Rockbridge... picking out classes for next semester is making me ecstatic for THIS tedious one to end... planning my 21st birthday celebration, my sister's graduation party, and buying tickets for a Dispatch concert in June with my home friends is making me just want that month to come. I'm just ready for junior year to come to a close. I want to be home. I cannot wait for the four months of summer where I can fill every moment with the people and places that I was so distant from for the past year and a half.
The next two months are going to go by very slowly. Over break, Bean, Jessie, and I found videos that we made in high school and watched them. Every joke was still just as funny as when we first laughed at them. And I'm back on a Jason Mraz kick because I love listening to all of the songs that remind me of three years ago when my life consisted of Bean, Jessie, Rachel, and Vil.
Summer 2011 cannot come soon enough. Though I still need prayers that the joy and comfort of being home stays this summer. Prayers that no matter who I'm with, I won't give in to any temptation because I know that God is so much greater.
And I'm praising God for sending me back to Jersey this past week and reminding me that I shouldn't ever run from anything that He has given to me because all of it is good.
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