Grace

We will never be able to fully comprehend the magnitude of God's grace.

I spent four glorious days in Fredericksburg.  Don't get me wrong, I am lovin' home this summer.  But it was great to be away from work and away from my class and away from my house for those days.  And it was even better to catch up with friends and do things in preparation for this year's InterVarsity.

On Sunday I make the oh-so-familiar drive home in my new car!!! I can't remember if I updated my blog about this but the night after I posted that blog about my small car almost breaking down on my drive home from Virginia, I prayed for a car.  Specifically, I prayed for a Rav4 because I figured hey, it doesn't hurt to ask.  The next day my dad tells me he's going to sign the family Rav4 over to me and my sister can take and do whatever she wants with my busted, red Chevy.  TALK ABOUT AN ANSWER TO PRAYER!

Anyway back to the story.  So I'm driving in my God-given Rav4, feeling safer than ever on I-95 North.  But of course, I'm complaining because the air conditioner is broken in this car and I have to drive with the windows down and I'm sweating.  Of course God gives me this wonderful gift and I find myself complaining about it.  At the same time I find myself complaining about another gift He gave me:  New Life.  I find myself zoned out on the road, sort of yelling at God, saying Why can't I just act crazy in college like everyone else?! Why can't I go out?!  Why did I have to delete all of my party music off of my iPod because now I want to listen to it!  I know I'm joyful now and am so thankful to be a new creation, but I still miss old habits... And as I'm murmuring to myself I don't even realize that I merge onto the wrong highway.  I no longer was on 95.  COOL.  I make this drive literally 20 times a year and I have never done that before.  So I make a quick turn-around and get back on 95 and not before long I'm stuck in the worst traffic of my life.  I eventually put my car in park because I was sitting completely still in traffic for half an hour.  People were getting up and walking around their cars.  And without the AC and without the wind blowing through the windows I was dying of heat.  I could feel the sweat dripping down my face and all I could think was, REALLY GOD?! REALLY?! WHY CAN'T I HAVE A WORKING AIR CONDITIONER?!  When traffic began to move I saw what was keeping us locked in:  a nine car pile-up.


I would have been in that pile-up if I didn't take that wrong turn.  You know, the wrong turn I took while I was complaining about not wanting to be a "good Christian" all the time.  God literally saved my life while I was yelling at Him, unappreciative of His gifts for me.  Grace.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

Even in the midst of our crazy messed up minds, God is working all things for our good.  I look at my own life and I cannot help but be brought to my knees in admiration for Him.  Jesus was sent in the middle of this crazy, sinning world to save it.  Christ resurrected my own heart in the middle of the lowest, most sinful point I had ever been in in my life.  He called me out of darkness.  And God continues to bless me, even when I constantly find myself turning my back on Him.

Ephesians 3:14-21--
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Lord, change my heart to fear You.  Though I can't comprehend in my human-nature, make me respect and stand in awe at the vastness of Your love, mercy, grace, and power.  Nothing on earth is as good as You.  Deuteronomy 30:6 says, The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.  I can't change by my own powers--I've tried that and failed miserably.  Change me so I can turn from this path of destruction that I so frequently find myself going down.  Change me so that I can change the world in Your name's sake.