Casting Lots

You know that feeling when you take a test in school and you are really unsure about how you did?  Some answers you feel like you nailed and others you may have blown completely.  And when you turn it in you just want an immediate result.  Did you fail?  Did you pass?  And if you passed was it with a C- or an A+?  But your teacher tells you it will take her two weeks to grade them.  Two whole weeks.  You just want to know the result--whether its good or bad--and waiting for fourteen days seems absurd.  You want to scream or cry or maybe even go to her office hours and try to get a sense of how you did.  But there's nothing you can do.  You handed your test in.  All you can do is wait.  And at this point you might as well stop thinking about it because thinking will get you nowhere.  So you pray those two weeks go by quickly.


That's where I am right now.  Except it's not with a test grade.  I'm waiting to hear back about round one of the application process for a post-graduation job.


Waiting.  That's what the Lord is calling me to do for the next two weeks.  To wait.  That's a hard thing for me.  I just want to take action.  I'm good at taking action.  I'm content when I'm busy and productive.  But there is nothing else I can do except to pray and wait.  I need to stop thinking about it because not knowing is DRIVING. ME. CRAZY.


The hardest part in this process is trusting that God is sovereign.  We say this a lot-- but saying that and knowing it in my head is a lot more challenging than actually believing it and living it out.  I know this position is something I am called to.  Jesus has given me a heart for college ministry and I will continue to pursue that until He tells me otherwise.  However, even if I have confirmation from the Lord that this is the path He wants for me, His timing might not be my timing.  The answer (for now) may be a no and if that's the case then I need to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing during that "in-between season" in my life.

But Jesus has it all under control.  He not only has the best interest of the ministry and the various colleges in mind, but He has my best interest in mind, as well.  And above all else, He has His Will in mind.  He will make sure the right things happen at the right time, in light of what is best for His Kingdom.  What is best for spreading the Gospel.

The Lord reigns.  And He is sovereign.

I'm doing a Beth Moore study right now on the book of Esther.  In Chapter 3, the king and his men decided they were going to kill all of the Jews.  The timing of when the Jewish people received the news that all of them were going to be killed seemed terrible to them (for they received the edict on the first day of Passover... Can you imagine getting a letter Christmas morning telling your family that you were going to be annihilated in 11 months?).  But God's hand was controlling the timing-- He planned for it to be during His Holy holiday.

More importantly, the king and his men determined the time of year that they were going to begin the genocide by casting lots (much like the rolling of dice).  The timing seemed to the royal men as chance (for it was all done by just rolling a few clay cubes).  But it wasn't by chance; God's hand was controlling it.

pur -- they used these cubes to cast lots

 Proverbs 16:33 says, "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD."  There is no such thing as chance or luck when you are dealing with a sovereign God.
 

And so I need to trust that no matter what the answer is about this job--whether its what I want to hear or not--that it will be a good answer.  Because it will be a God-given answer.  God's timing is perfect.  God's plan for my life is perfect.  God will strategically open the doors when they are meant to be opened and close the doors when they are meant to be closed.  If it is decided by the Lord then the decision is good.

Beth Moore wrote:
I don't know exactly how God perfects plans that seem so bleak to us in process, but these two things I know:  He never takes His eyes off of us or off the clock ticking over us.  I am praying right now that the lesson we have before us greatly encourages you to believe both of those things today.  Sweet One, God loves you so.  He is hard at work in your life, and the same eye that's on the sparrow is on the wristwatch.

Oh, Beth.  Thanks for the prayers, sister.  Because I really need them right now.

Lord help me believe that you have all things under control.  Help me feel content and satisfied in knowing that Proverbs 16:33 is true.