Next Chapter

The past few weeks have been a blur of activity-- going from VPA to finals week to Rockbridge to graduation to packing up and coming back to New Jersey and then to training for my new part-time job as a bookkeeper in my church office.  I had maybe half a day in between each activity to "process," which basically means I have not processed anything yet at all.

It just feels like spring break.  It feels like I will be going back to Virginia soon.  It feels like I will be in the classroom learning again, sleeping in my favorite apartment, living walking distance from my best friends, being fed and feeding others as an InterVarsity student, and being able to go on morning runs through my favorite part of downtown Fredericksburg.

But it's over.
I am a college graduate.
An alumna of the University of Mary Washington.
Holding a bachelors degree and knowledge of psychology and biology.

Whuddup college degree?!

We're GRADS?! What?!

I am now a resident once again of New Jersey.
My church is no longer Common Ground, but Calvary Chapel.
My closest friends live hours and hours away.
My primary occupation is not a college student but an intern/volunteer for InterVarsity Staff.

Actually, I leave for an InterVarsity retreat to Basileia (like Rockbridge, for my Blue Ridge Region friends) on Friday.  My first week home and I'm already getting my feet wet for my two news jobs:  church bookkeeper and IV intern.  I am walking out of being a student and walking right into life in the real world.  Whatever that means.

This all doesn't feel real.

I am so blessed to be able to be in these two positions--especially week one after graduation.  With the job market being rather lousy, it really is humbling to see how the Lord opened up doors for me.  I am so excited for getting to know students in NJCF (the InterVarsity chapter at TCNJ) and to make friends on staff in this new region next week at Basileia.  I'm eager to get plugged back in at my church here in New Jersey and to rekindle high school and summer friendships.

Really, I am SO excited.

But it's still WEIRD.  And surreal.  The strangest thing was when I texted my friend Joanna the other day--who is the Encounter (what NJCF calls large group--again for those of my Mary Wash friends reading this) Coordinator for NJCF and said, "Praying for our chapter as you guys are figuring out the vision at Basileia this week!"

Our chapter.
Not her chapter, or their chapter, or your chapter.
OUR chapter.

UMW is no longer my current chapter.  TCNJ is now where my mission field is.  The campus where I will pour into people has officially changed.

Wow. Crazy.
I am excited and thrilled.  Impatiently waiting for school to start up again so that I can meet students.  Moved deeply by the fact that Jesus is choosing to use me here for His glory.  Scared and intimidated that I won't be able to do these new roles; worried that I'll fail at being something other than a student.  Sad to leave friends behind.  Still a bit angry that I'm living under my dad's roof again.  Dreading unpacking and sifting through all of my childhood items that are currently filling my room.

I am feeling every emotion at once.
The result?  Numbness.

I need to keep telling myself that college is over or else it will never feel real.  I need to believe the reality that my life is changed.  I am an adult.  A graduate.

The first page of the new chapter starts now.