this heart of mine

As I sit here, still, in the silence of this empty house,

     I feel my heart soften.

As I sit here, not sure if I'm content with my current situation,

Not sure if I feel anger toward You or just a general deep sadness,

     I feel a tenderness grow inside of me.

I rest assured in Your presence,

     Your promises,

     Your Truth.

This heart that used to be so prone to turning to stone,

     You have molded into soft clay,

And I embrace the Hands that knead me,

     Finally understanding that it is this which keeps me from

          Blowing up

               In the fire.

My mind reaches for words to describe,

     My heart for an emotion to accurately portray,

This mix between

     Joy and sorrow,

     Yearning and contentment,

     Waiting and being active,

Confuses even me.

As I embody opposing emotions that

(somehow)

     Coexist.

And regardless of my temporary discontent, I am

     Melting,

          In Your presence.

Feeling Your Spirit every second.

As I sit here, still, in the silence of this empty house,

     I feel my heart soften.