"Jess, do you have a key? ... Jess, do you have a key?" Jen called as she ran across the parking lot to us."
"No, do you?"
"No."
The three of us stared at each other, realizing we were locked out of the house. The only person who had a spare key was working in DC (an hour away) until 5:30.
It was noon.
"Dang it," I said, "I'm supposed to be in NOVA at 5:30 to have dinner with a friend."
"You can just go and leave us and we'll wait to get the key."
"Yeah that's not gonna work because ALL of my belongings are in your house..."
"Ohhh..."
"But you know what? I don't even care. Goin' with the flow. This is the new me."
This conversation that occurred on the last day of my 5-day vacation to Virginia basically summed up the entire trip. What started as a two-month-in-advanced-planned trip to Fredericksburg of the six senior year "roommates" ended up as a week of me staying in Richmond and Fredericksburg without any of them. One by one each of the "Building Ten girls" dropped out because of random conflicts. And then there was one.
If you know me, you know that I am a planner. My friends and I planned this trip to the hour. Literally had an event filling every second we were going to be in town. All of a sudden my plans went from 10,000 to 0. But it was perfect. I spent the first night in Richmond with the Hodi and the last three nights at Jess & Jen's house in Fredericksburg.
Those five days were full of unexpected events. (Multiple) trips to Hyperion. And Sweet Frog. Sunday morning at my college church. Holding my friends' BABY girl. Drinking coffee. Spiritual conversations. InterVarsity chatter. Learning a fun new (board?) game. Catching up with several college friends. Listening to some Missionaries tell stories. Playing Settlers. Watching the Olympics. And laughing. Lots and lots and lots of laughter.
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| I LIVE at Hyperion while in Fredericksburg |
If I told you I didn't miss the people in this town, I'd be lying.
Yet, if I told you that Ewing wasn't where I know I'm supposed to be, I'd be lying.
It's a little bit nostalgic to cruise the streets of downtown Fredericksburg. I miss college years. I miss living in a cute, historic town where I can walk everywhere.
It's hard to hug good friends goodbye and hop in the car, knowing that I won't see them for several months. Friends that I can spend 4 whole days with (talking the whole time as extroverts should...) and still find we have stories to tell each other at the end of the week. Friends that say the same things at the same time.. all the time.
It's hard to live far away from college roommates and only chat once every few months over breakfast. Or be so very far from my friends' families and not be able to visit their adorable new baby whenever I want to. Hard to try and explain to 5 (and a half, as she would add) year old Grace Hodous multiple times why I can't come babysit her all the time anymore, as my heart breaks from missing those kids.
But at the same time, I am full.
Full of joy and blessings and love and friendship.
So grateful that I have friends across the east coast who love me and care deeply for me.
So grateful that I don't have relationships confined to just one area, but that I can travel far and still be able to share some laughs with a sister or brother.
So grateful that all week when someone asked me how living at home was I could answer with an honest and excited heart that I am loving Ewing. That I am growing and changing and learning and thriving. That I can see how God is working every area of my life to fit this puzzle together and in just two months, my reasons for being in New Jersey are evident. I can smile and know in my heart that I wouldn't have it any other way because I can see God working more than ever before. And. It. Blows. My. Mind.
If my original plans had worked out this week, I wouldn't have been able to see the people that I spent so many hours with. I wouldn't have been able to actually process these feelings of missing Fredericksburg. I wouldn't have been able to have so many fruitful conversations, nor would I have been able to watch the Olympics for a million hours while making our own ridiculous commentary.
If anything I've learned this past year, it is to go with the flow. I need to stop trying to plan my life and stop getting aggravated when plans don't go my way. Because God has better plans in store for me. He blesses me with gifts that are better than what I would have chosen for myself.
This weekend, He took away my self-planned week with my best college friends and gave me such a wonderful time catching up with various people. (And spending most of it laughing and watching the Olympics with ma home girl, Jess.)
This year, He took away my self-planned expectation to be on staff in the Blue Ridge and gave me such wonderful learning and working opportunities with InterVarsity in the NY/NJ region and on staff in my church office. He gave me relationships with friends that I asked for and with a family (namely someone to mother me) that I didn't even know my heart so desperately needed.
What did I learn this week?
It's okay to miss Fredericksburg and the people there. It's okay because I love them. And it's also okay to be excited for this new phase of life in New Jersey. It's okay because Jesus has me here for a purpose.
Greater things have yet to come,
Greater things are still to be done in this city.
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